The doctor is doing a prostrate exam.
The guy yells, "That hurts!"
The doctor says, "I am using two fingers. "
"I want a second opinion."
An eighth grade teacher at a very exclusive private girls school, asks
the class, "What organ of the body, when stimulated, expands to six
times its normal size? Miss Smith?"
"Mr. Johnson, I do not think that is a proper question to ask a girl
of my age and social standing."
He calls upon another student, "Miss Jones?"
"The pupil of the eye."
"That is correct. Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you.
One: you did not do your homework. Two: you have a dirty mind. Three:
someday you are going to be very disappointed."
What do you get when you spill a urinal?
A pee wave.
"I'm allergic to lasix. It makes me pee."
A vampire goes into a blood bank and asks for one unit of packed re cells
and one unit of fresh frozen plasma. The phlebotomist yells back to the
tech, "Gimme a Blud and a Blud Lite."
For otitis media the doctor ordered "cortisporin drops in the R ear
QID." The pharmacist called back to say cortisporin doesn't come
in suppository form.
Orthopedic Joke (told
by an infectious disease doctor):
What do you need to do to pass the orthopedic boards? Be able to bench
press 200 pounds and spell Ancef.
Infectious Disease Joke:
How do you get a kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Did you hear about the two red cells who loved in vein?